“the comeback is stronger than the setback”
Some things just don't change.
The way your mind quiets down after a long walk, being greeted by bird music first thing in the morning, the warmth of the sun of your skin, how amazing the wind feels in your hair, the comfort of a hot foamy coffee... these are actually some of my favorite summer/anytime rituals.
Reminding me that no matter what, life goes on.
As you may already know, I'm an observer. I can't help but notice things in my surroundings. The people person, psychology lover and spiritual soul in me constantly makes connections. A lifetime ago, as a kid when I went to sleep away camp, I won "optimistic" camper of the week and I guess that's stuck. I naturally look for what's going right and try to focus on strengths.
Understanding that gratitude is like cryptonite to anxiety or any negative emotion, I turn to it often (when I remember).
This doesn't mean that I never become negative or get stuck in a bad mood- it's only human. And the monkey mind is always tempted to go in that direction. But intentionally making connections, especially in shitty situations, helps to make sense of otherwise completely senseless things. Someone young who passes away too soon, a picture perfect relationship that doesn't work out, a stable job you unexpectedly lose, a missed opportunity...
...making connections and zooming out helps us to maintain hope and to keep going.
This is where the power of mindset comes in. The ability to reframe and gain perspective is what can transform an awful experience into something you can use and actually grow from. It amazes me how two people can go through the exact same experience, possibly siblings growing up in the same family, and come to see things totally differently. There's a lot more beneath this like temperament, innate strengths and limitations, how they cope.....
...but one of the most influential parts of resilience is the lens we see the world. And the most important part is that this can be tweaked and sharpened overtime.
Well my lens has most definitely changed (for the better) in the past 2 years as a result of becoming a mom. I've been in reflection mode as I get ready for my daughter's 2nd birthday (it's true what they say, the days are longgg and the years really fly).
I've made some connections between what helps babies (based purely on my experience observing my kids) and what also helps adults thrive.
- Babies sleep better after a bath.
Water calms like no other. If I had to choose one ritual that I can't go a day without it's a bath or a shower. Changing our body temperature via warm or cold water has significant benefits for our nervous system. - Eating regularly prevents tantrums.
This one is a no-brainer. Becoming HANGRY is real and ugly. Adult tantrums are avoidable when you remember to eat enough healthy food consistently. - Sudden changes can be de-stabilizing and triggering, give enough prep for transitions.
Just like giving a heads up by counting down or like I'd say to Ruthie "You have 2 more minutes to play here before you need to come inside" when possible, give yourself enough time to ease out of something and into a new/less desirable situation. - Their curiosity peaks / eyes open wider in nature.
We can agree that nature is medicine. Being mindful in nature really helps you get out of your mind and into the present. - Rituals (bedtime story, watching favorite show, morning walk...) create a sense of safety.
We crave predictability. Having regular routines to look forward to every day helps lighten the mental load and soothes an anxious mind.
At the end of the day, we're like big little kids. Making sure that our basic needs are being met can make all the difference. I'm hoping that my ritual of writing will return and I'll be able to write to you more regularly in the coming months.
Just so you're aware, I have a few spots open for 1:1 therapy. If you're ready to let go of fear, and feeling motivated to step into the most confident version of yourself, please reach out to me! You can learn more about my empowering services here
